


The Bitch of Hogwarts

by RJLupin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: Anger, Blood Quill, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Broadway, Comedy, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Dumbledore's Army, Filk, Gen, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Inspired by Music, Ministry of Magic, Musicals, Parody, Rebellion, Rise of Voldemort, Singing, Song Parody, Teenage Rebellion, Umbridge Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-15
Updated: 2015-02-15
Packaged: 2018-03-13 03:42:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3366449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry Potter has had enough of Umbridge taking over Hogwarts. A song filk to "The Bitch of Living" from the musical Spring Awakening.</p>
<p>She said, "Detention, Potter<br/>Now here's a quill and scroll<br/>Let me teach you how to handle all the lying in your soul<br/>No, you won't need any magic<br/>All your lies are quite too tall"<br/>She said, "Let me deal with this, kid<br/>You-Know-Who's not back at all"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bitch of Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> "The Bitch of Hogwarts" filked to "The Bitch of Living" from the musical Spring Awakening by Duncan Sheik and Steven Sater. Originally filked December 2007.

_SCENE: Harry and the Gryffindor Boys complain in the empty DADA classroom about Umbridge at Hogwarts during their 5th year, using choreography extremely similar to that of the original song_  
  
 **HARRY:**  
God, I think I may have lost it  
I have snapped and hit the wall  
As I cried out during Dark Arts  
"You are so not right at all  
Voldemort's back and it's his fault  
Cedric's not with us this fall  
I fought him and he's angry  
We don't have time to stall"  
  
She said, "Detention, Potter  
Now here's a quill and scroll  
Let me teach you how to handle all the lying in your soul  
No, you won't need any magic  
All your lies are quite too tall"  
She said, "Let me deal with this, kid  
You-Know-Who's not back at all"  
  
 **BOYS:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **RON:**  
Bitch, she's a bitch  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Taking over school  
  
 **RON:**  
She's a bitch, yeah  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Just the bitch of Hogwarts  
Wants us under her rule  
  
 **HARRY:**  
See, each night it's like horrific  
Cutting, bleeding out my hand  
When I just want to play Quidditch  
And she doesn't understand  
And that pink office is sickly, I think my brain's gonna pop  
And her cough, I mean, God please, go get her a cough drop  
  
 **BOYS:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **RON:**  
Bitch  
  
 **BOYS:**  
 _Hem, hem, hem_  
She's making her decrees, daft rubbish decrees  
Just the bitch of Hogwarts  
Down at Fudge's knees  
What's the Min'stry doing?  
Oh who knows...  
  
 **NEVILLE:**  
See her trying to sack teachers  
  
 **DEAN:**  
Censoring with all her might  
  
 **RON:**  
Looks so nasty in those pink bows  
  
 **SEAMUS:**  
That old toad face isn't right  
  
 **RON:**  
She's so crazy power hungry  
She just wants Dumbledore gone  
  
 **HARRY:**  
She's kissing Fudge's ass, man  
When will they see they're wrong?  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Wrong...  
  
 **HARRY:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **BOYS:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **HARRY:**  
And she hates everyone  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Everyone  
She's the bitch  
  
 **HARRY:**  
Of Hogwarts  
Who's ruining all our fun  
  
 **BOYS:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **HARRY:**  
You watch me, just watch me  
  
 **BOYS:**  
This bitch will make us die  
  
 **HARRY:**  
I'm starting the D.A.  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Just the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **RON:**  
Afraid we'll all defy  
  
 **HARRY:**  
All will know  
  
 **BOYS:**  
She's the bitch of Hogwarts, Hogwarts  
  
 **HARRY:**  
All will know  
  
 **BOYS:**  
Now the Min'stry interferes  
With the bitch of Hogwarts  
  
 **HARRY:**  
Because they're full of fear  
  
 **BOYS:**  
What a bad curse  
It can't get worse  
Oh God, what a bitch!


End file.
